break my bones

Sometimes I get ill just thinking of mean things I've said or done or thought. Why on Earth would I ever be mean? Life is really hard and sad and tough just naturally without any additional meanies going around being mean. I've written lots of 'i'm sorry' letters lately but they'll likely never be sent. Because the recipients probably don't even remember or care and are mostly married or on their way to marriage or far away from me. Mostly I think I am mean with my apathy and with my words. Oh heavens. I hate meanness. I really cannot think of a single reason that would ever justify it.