winter

Things I don't like about winter:
-traffic
-sore elbows (from wearing long sleeved sweaters and then resting my arms on a desk all day)
-freezing arms (from wearing short sleeves to avoid sore elbows)
-dry skin
-white skin
-dirty dirty car
-constantly cold feet/hands
-nearly constant headlight use
-scraping ice from my car every morning (actually I kind of like the scraping, I just hate me getting covered in snow in the process. that settles into my clothes and makes me soaking wet by American Fork. I hate that.)
-no leaves on the trees

Things I like about winter:
-holidays
-the music
-the smells
-the decorating
-appreciating warmth
-seeing more of my family
-sliding on icy sidewalks
-jackets
-parties
-birthdays
-snow (especially: the flurries that look like all the flakes are just flying around for fun and have no intention of ever hitting the ground; eating it; walking through it in boots; how light it makes it seem at night; the smell of it)
-baking
-katriarch season
-watching my amaryllis grow
-gift making and giving

Don't ask

My number one pet peeve: being asked questions.
The other morning someone was trying to nail down my schedule for the day by asking questions. Not an unreasonable request, by any measure. A very normal request, in fact. Anyway, I responded with "asking me questions is like the number one annoyance in my life right now". (I know, I say 'like' too much. I almost left it out. But I wanted the quote to be true to life.) I didn't realize the truth of that sentence at the time but have since been considering my life's annoyances and I stick by that statement. Of course not every question I'm ever asked jumps to the top of my list of most peeved moments (partly because such a list doesn't exist). But, most of those moments have been when I'm being asked questions. It's not even the big, typical questions (graduating? dating? etc.) or anything. I really wish it didn't bother me so much. Because people asking me questions is going to keep happening for the rest of my life. Why can't I have some really really obscure pet peeve that never really happens but I kind of made it up in case I ever needed one? I don't even know exactly what it is that bothers me so much. Maybe I think they should be able to figure it out for themselves? Maybe I think they should know that I couldn't possibly know the answer? Maybe they've asked me before and should remember? Maybe I'm just really impatient and self-centered? I could never be a teacher. I can't believe I used to want to be a teacher.

Sometimes Isosceles. Usually Scalene. Rarely Equilateral. Always Polygonal.

Sometimes I ask my self

And sometimes the response is downright shocking.

There isn't a Turkey in the world

with enough feathers to represent the things I'm thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving.

It's better than okay.

It's okay to just be taught something as a child and grow up in a certain lifestyle and believe something your parents tell you and then just continue believing those things and living in those ways and teaching your children those things, forever. It doesn't make you naive and unintelligent and foolish. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.

Today's My Day

I'm 22.
My best gift to myself: excusing myself from all decision making for 24 hours.
Best gift from the universe: time on my side.

Day Seven

My Sunday.
Church Candy.
Uncle Sam.
Birthday Mixer.
Grey's Anatomy.
Can't Sleep.

Day Six

Go Cougs.

Day Five

Friday.
The last of XanGo for me.
I planted my annual amaryllis.
Asobi Seksu is cancelled. I bought my ticket weeks ago.
Meet new people, excuse myself from activity.
Meet more new people, excuse myself again from activity.
Some things have time limits, you know? windows of opportunity close as often as they open.
I'm probably just tired.

Day Four

-xango is kind of my life but it is really some people's lives.
-wait until dark is sold out. duh.
-i don't hate fake fur on boots and/or hoods.
-chief having an anxiety attack is the last thing we need right now.

Day Three

full. tiring. orange. loud. spending someone else's money. theater going. wheels are turning. hoodie wearing. envy. renewed hope. foolish riddle. sweets everywhere. voicemail. warm house. first massage ever. paper boats. early to bed, kind of. 2 packages on their way! john likes his shirts. big party. hostess. contently dosing through stranger than fiction. play tomorrow. more orange tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow.

Day Two

-9:15am- back on campus. hate being in heels and looking like one of those people that dress up for school. apply for college graduation
-12:00pm- participate in struck photoshoot. when will people learn that i just shouldn't be involved in these things?
-1:30pm- free lunch at Red Rock, on Skylar, who might have a friend that would love me. we'll exchange photos.
-2:30pm- receive word that the cable at The Basket has been re-installed
-3:30pm- receive word that The Basket has working heat for the first time this year
-3:45pm- matt/xango reward printsters and kate with the cutest reward ever. new ipod shuffle.
-4:30pm- bean calls to ask a question for one of mom's lists. i hear mom cracking a joke in the background. two very good signs.
-5:30pm- after some experimentation, i discover exactly how much pressure is needed on the brake pedal to turn the brake lights of my car on.
-7:00pm- i cringe through a newly-available episode of Gilmore Girls
-7:30pm- i become bored with rory and lorelai and fall asleep, missing the climax of the show and the performance of some good friends
-8:30pm- i run warily to Muse but am too late. hear the end of one song and spot Hudd, his haircut and his cardigan
-10:00pm- finally people are home. we browse the latest delia's catalog in unison, marking items with each person's designated shape. bowl of Kix.
-2:44am- sleep

Day One

-woke up warm. thank you heatdish.
-free crown burgers for lunch. thank you Struck.
-hung out with the wilson brothers. thank you Matt.
-hung out with The Who. thank you XanGo.
-gave a stranger directions to 2 downtown restaurants. thank you over observant mind.
-bought new jeans. thank you The Loft.
-didn't change the radio station when Carol of the Bells came on. thank you Manheim Steamroller.
-southwest egg rolls for dinner, cookie dough ice cream for dessert. thank you Aaron Garrity.
-was called beautiful for the 3rd? time in my life. thank you man at the post office.

this is my week

Yeah, the next 7 days, I own them.

It kind of seems like

We should think and talk half as much and act twice as much. Kind of.

did you guys touch some more?

What's with all the same gender back scratching, head rubbing, leg touching, shoulder patting? These things are inappropriate. Perhaps the most so in sacrament meeting.

It feels good

-to sleep in
-to finally move in, for real move in, no more piles move in
-to hear "Breath of Heaven" for the first time this season
-to have all clean dishes
-to send things to people i love
-to make a grocery list
-to talk to carrie
-to make spirals at 2:30am
-to plan surprises
-to shave my legs so good
-to have a Presto HEATDISH right next to my feet
-to be asked about
-to have a completely updated (and really cute) address book
-to cross things off my month-old 'to do' list
-to keep a secret
-to see people being happy
-to eat a real breakfast
-to think about Thanksgiving
-to be almost 22
-to be good

this is my month

I can't stop

I can't stop watching. I can't stop crying. I can't stop pining. I can't stop thinking. I can't stop hearing Tegan & Sara in the background. I can't stop believing. I can't stop puzzling. I can't stop being surprised. I can't stop talking to the TV. I can't stop wanting more. I just can't stop.

don't be surprised if you see me scooting.

i'm just saying, i'm a scooter now.

why o why and how o how

Is the guy working at my parking garage:
so cute? rarely working when I come in/out lately? able to pull off the buzz cut so well? happy doing his job? still nameless?

It's My Month

I know it's not kosher to be so obviously self indulgent but it's November. I love November. For lots of reasons. Like, because I was born on it's twentieth day and because it's so holiday and it has changing weather and i am waking up to sunshine and the pile of leaves on my car and wearing jackets and just lots of things that I like. This is what some photo stockers think about November and for some reason, I couldn't agree more. They totally pegged November. I should know, it's mine.

aware people and unaware people don't mix

It must not be as inate as I think it is to asess a situation and act appropriately. I mean, upon entering a situation, your brain automatically goes to work figuring out who people are and what their relation to eachother is and what type of atmosphere you are in and what type of humor or topics of conversation or gestures or loudness or general behavior would be appropriate for the given circumstances. Right? So your brain puts things in your possible topics bank and tells your body to be still and your voice to hush and your sarcasm to halt, if that's what the situation needs. Our brains know how to do this. They are great at it. Why then does it sometimes fail completely to happen? Do some brains not have this capacity? Or it's grown too rusty? Or people have overridden it with their sheer will to corrupt? It is sometimes very hard for people with a healthy-hyper sense of awareness happening naturally all the time to understand, spend time with the UnaWares of the world.
This was all brought to mind from some experiences last night and then it made me remember UnaWare. We once knew a girl named Anna (on-a) Ware. Matt started calling her UnaWare. A more fitting, more natural evolution of a namesake has never occurred. Even Kakie pales in comparison. There are more UnaWares in the world than I ever knew.

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