it was my month and i didn't even know it

April is national grilled cheese month. Today's the last day of April. And I've just been sitting here all month trying to justify another trip to Esther's and/or think up a reason for a nonsense party. And now my reason's here. And gone. Grilled Cheese Month! All month long! I can't believe this. Now I've got 1 lunch left to choose between like 7 outstanding grilled cheese sandwiches. My life is really hard. 

UPDATE: so as to not have this trauma take place next month, megan did some research and may is national bike, asparagus, BBQ and mental health month. seriously. it's all those months. booya. i can't wait to ride my bike around eating grilled asparagus and talking to myself.

get yours

soooo typical

i am not an adult.

i'd appreciate it if everyone (that includes you, life) would stop treating me like one.

WHY would they do this to me?

i can't believe it's snowing

Remember this? Remember how this is supposed to be what life is like at the end of April?

here we go again

It's really interesting to me what becomes 'good news' depending on the circumstances of your life. The last few years have made me really grateful for some rather bizarre things. 

this makes me nervous

(this isn't from my mailbox directly. but it is from postsecret. so you never know.)

bloody knuckles and blistered heels

i had a good weekend. i like it when seattle comes to utah. i love phil collins. i love the great salt lake. i love sugar for breakfast. i love forgetting about reality. i love golden spikes. i love having only 7 polaroids left! i love marble staircases. i love magical butterflies. i love 3.3 billion year old rocks and oldest trees in town and secret swings and ensign peaks and eating in old train cars and and and dot dot dot 

personal notes: RIP Nicci (it's a car) and please bless my mama

just jill

Just Jill's in UTAH! not connecticut, UTAH. i'm just sitting here ticking down the minutes till i get to see her. jill's like, my best friend. she's like, the missing ingredient in my life right now. she's like, the reason summer2005 rocked my world. she's like, been a good friend ALWAYS. we like, had a family plan for our cell phones (and i was always going over on my texts and she was always the responsible one reminding me to pay the bill). i don't know if my mom has ever been more right than when she urged me to be friends with jill way back in '96 (or was it '95? point is-it's been a while). course i had bigger fish to fry (less cool people to try to be exactly like even though they didn't have 1/5 the substance jill does). i'm really glad i came to my senses on this one. we are basically nothing alike, jill and i. and i don't know why we get eachother so well but we just do so i don't waste my time asking questions. it's things like her saying we can just watch a movie (i'll bet you $10 it's tommy boy-or-10 things i hate about you-orrr-clueless) and eat lots of cookie dough tonight that make me love her. she always knows what i need. it's almost weird how good she is at being my friend. sometimes i think about what she does for me and i kinda wonder what's in this friendship for her. i'm just really excited to see her.

(I don't remember what we're doing in this picture. I just know that it was during summer2005. And I think we were either rollerskating or this was the night we went to Utah Lake and laid on the docks for no reason and saw that skunk! and that those smiles are as authentic as they come. and that i miss that shirt.)

i wasn't even looking for this. i swear. it found me.

struck has a new blah!

deconstruckt

(insider tips: the background changes every time you refresh, and sometimes I write on this blah, and we keep adding newer cooler things. so visit often.)

one man's crisis is another man's sweet roll.

There's been a lethal combination of cleaning out all my magazines, rearranging decorative accessories in my house, re-visiting favorite recipes and just a general attempt at harnessing my chi (I don't even know if I actually know what that means but I think I get it well enough to use it in a blah post) going on around my place and it's left me surrounded by some great quotes. And they kind of really do help do all those things I just listed. And anyway-here's one of my favorites:

"As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people."

-P.G. Wodehouse

So—if I invite you over for chimichangas/cinnamon stack biscuits/really dense nut-filled sweet rolls/sun chips/etc., please say yes. And then act like you're so full of pleasure you could burst. And your pretended pleasure will fill me with real pleasure (because i gave you pleasure). Which, in turn, will fill you with real pleasure because you gave me real pleasure. (and yes, all i can think about while typing this is "you are giving me pleassssssure.")

judy grimes is my new hero. just kidding she's not even a real person. just kidding she is.

i don't know if i've ever wanted to be a kid worse than i do while watching this video. i mean, this is what we were dreaming of while blowing coat hanger bubbles in homemade bathing suits all those many summer afternoons.

i blame wyoming

I bought beef jerky from the vending machine and thoroughly enjoyed eating it yesterday. I always feel rather animalistic eating jerky. But it's so good. I blame Wyoming and the steep influx of red meat in my diet this weekend for giving my body these cravings. I also blame Wyoming for me not being able to focus on anything but when I get to see these bunnies again:

Xzibit A

There's this joke that people love making about my dad being, not a botanist, but a CIA agent or something equally as sneaky. And I can't deny, it makes sense on lots of levels:

-we have to drop him off at the gate far away from his office door because we don't have 'security clearance'

-he's been to area 51

-when asked what he REALLY does, he often responds with somethingorother about 'counting spooks'

-he still remembers how to do college calculus/AP stats/etc.

-he keeps flying to washington, d.c. for weeks at a time

Then there are the counter-arguments: 

-He can grow really good tomatoes in Henderson, NV. Which, takes quite a bit of skill, if not the doctorate degree he claims to have acquired (i've never seen any physical documents) 

-He makes convincingly abrupt stops while jeeping to check out some type of rare species of something

-He has this giant plant press and collection that he keeps in the garage and works with/on sometimes

-He has helped produce 'can-i-keep-this-to-show-it-to-other-students' worthy plant collections for 8 children and numberless neighborhood middle-schoolers

I've weighed these facts many times in my life. A CIA agent everyone thinks is a botanist? Or a botanist that everyone thinks is a CIA agent? Either way, it's a pretty cool gig. But, supposing he is a botanist, there is one thing that has never added up to me—why can't I, the daughter of a botanist, keep houseplants alive? Shouldn't I have some sort of ingrained ability to care for my cyclamen? I've always associated my love of all things botanical to my dad's. But shouldn't a tad of that skill of his transfer as well? Huh? Think about it.

i don't know what to do with my hair

what else is new?

just fyi

-sleepless in seattle is still a very very enjoyable movie. 

-canned soup is good for at least 2 months past the expiration date printed on the bottom of the can

-some times if you just email an artist they'll have some prints lying around with staples in them that you can buy even though the website has said it's 'sold out' for the last 4 years

-lemon curd is the new honey

-i still want one

i'm kind of proud of these

(and i can't wait to deliver it by hand to little maggie jane herself)

(sometimes i watch a disgraceful amount of The Bachelor online and to make myself feel less disgraceful i get up and make some throw pillows)

(DI-$2. all i can think about when i see it is this book)

we played Mousetrap and ate brownies

is there any chance that this is real? at all?

and-what is he listening to?

manual labor is so attractive

oops

i wore this shirt on monday (and sunday and friday). it's only wednesday.