Signs of the Times.

Yesterday, around 3? in the afternoon, all the lights in 157 W. Pierpont flickered. The thing about this flicker though, was that it was audible. A clicky flicker. A single click actually. And the other thing about this flicker is that it was heard/seen/felt by people across the...state? at the same moment. I have confirmed accounts of this flicker in Provo, Lehi, Salt Lake, Centerville, Ogden and Sandy. This flicker was not felt as far as Boise or Maryland. This flicker was so adamant about being felt that it even shut off cell phones that were in use at the moment it wanted to flick, to have our undivided attention. This, combined with the eerie scratching noises coming from the "construction" next to our studio, the ghastly back touching, stories of our resident "friendly ghost", some pretty creepy ruckus (giant marbles? table saws?) going on below our home and the number of mirrors I can see myself in from this position on the couch (11) are enough to do me in. Which is just what the undead would wish from their holiday. So bravo, you've done it. It's Hallowe'en.

"But he's no Robert"

I guess, in the end (the end being marriage or some time after marriage), it'd be pretty good if I could look back on all past relationships with fondness for lessons learned, memories made and friendships forged. But ultimately, no matter how great past beaus were, I'd simply be able to say, "He is a great person. But, he's no _______". (name of spouse) I think that'd be a pretty good way for things to end.

Did anyone else see this?

And, of course, by 'this' I actually mean 'this':















It appears I shall forever remain a fool for players of the All-American sport.

my life would be different if this weren't my favorite

"With Halloween approaching, what better time to learn a few kernels of truth about a favorite fall treat? Candy corn has been made with the same recipe — containing sugar, corn syrup, and marshmallow — by the Jelly Belly Candy Company since around 1900. One serving (about 30 pieces) has 140 calories, the equivalent of three miniature Hershey bars. The National Confectioners Association reports that more than 35 million pounds were manufactured in 2005, amounting to almost 9 billion kernels." -Real Simple Magazine

Magic things happen when I keep candy corn in my pockets.

Things I've Learned About Hospitals and Me:

-They make me cold.
-They always smell like that.
-Catholic themed hospitals don't bother me.
-The elevators are shaped just right for gernies. (I hate that)
-There is never anything worth buying in the gift shop.
-I can rarely pass an open room door and not look in. Even though I hate looking in.
-I never want to be a nurse.
-I kind of want to be a nurse.
-I've yet to be disappointed by a grilled cheese sandwich purchased at a hospital.
-They are not all the same. (some have remote controls and pull-out beds)
-They have the fuzziest fuzzy socks.
-Patients/Personnel/Patrons have no problem welcoming you to the hospital with a healthy dose of secondhand smoke right outside the front doors.
-They'll bring you free drinks if you ask.
-I hope my husband is not a doctor.
-I hope my husband is a doctor.
-I will never not be tempted to open the door of the "infection control" room.

Ah. Katriarch. Yes, please come in.

I've been expecting this, hoping for this. Katriarch's grand return. Of course she never disappears entirely. She just becomes the shortest leg of my scalene self. (while Complikate and Sophistikate take center stage) Seems this time at home has been just what I needed to resurge my domesticity. Turns out I still remember.

I'm just sitting here waiting for people to finish stuff so I can email files to my brother.

Caring is Creepy

I've been wondering lately about a lot of things. Nothing whole-heartedly really because that's been beyond my capacity. But part-heartedly I've been doing a lot of wondering. One thing i've been wondering about is the things people care about. Is there some type of unwritten rating system concerning caring? Some ladder of cares that I should know that states clearly literature's place in relation to fashion in relation to animal rights in relation to dish towels. i mean, who decided that having an interest and investing time in learning a language holds more weight than being a great party hostess? Or does anyone think that? Or only I think that? I suppose there are some obvious topics of care that would transcend most others (family, religion) But beyond that, I'm not sure. Is it how useful it will be to your life? How much you'll use it when you die? Is it all in the eye of the beholder? Is it obvious?

I'm glad people care about things I do not. It has to be so. I like it so. Why, then, do I feel like I should be sheepish or ashamed to announce that my major is, in fact, not comparative literature or history or exercise science but home and family living? I like my major. Or that I have no idea who painted the first painting that was hung in the Guggenheim or whose song is #1 on the top 40 right now or who first invented the elevator? I don't know hardly anything. I don't know how anyone could ever attain enough knowledge to start feeling like they did. But I still care. I would love to know. Please, tell me. I think i care about everything. But how do you show you care? By spending time on it? Then I guess I care about very little. There is certainly something to be said about time. How time is spent is, i suppose, is our most accurate meter of what someone cares about? I mean, I care about homeless people but when one finds out where I work and awaits my 5pm exit, I get nervous. I don't volunteer at any shelters. I don't bring an extra PB&J to give to Drew or Sweet Brother on the street. But I care. Can caring exist only in thought and feeling but without action? I think so. Ah. so does Webster. "To feel concern" is to care. So i guess I do care about everything.

Sometimes I witness things through the news or conversations or with my own eyes. Horrible things, stories of terrible things, about people witnessing the death of their loved ones or a family dog lying only almost-dead in the street or whole African tribes being wiped out by disease and I am sad and I care and I wish they all knew that I cared. But then I do nothing. What would I do? Perhaps just taking extra careful care of my own cares? Maybe if everyone just appreciates and sustains others in all that they care for then all the cares in the world will be covered and it's not so horrible if some of my cares are left actionless?

I'm not as stoic as I think I am.

It's Only Time

If I am ever invited to play that one fun ipod roadtrip game where you pick a topic or genre and everyone chooses a song to fit that topic or genre and the topic or genre is "songs that break your heart, make you cry and fill you with joy all at the same time" then I would choose this song by the Magnetic Fields. I love it. I hate it. I love it. I love it. I never tire of it. Find it somewhere and listen to it. I have it, get it from me. Or search the internet. I haven't the time or the know-how or the energy to do it for you right now. But you will not be sorry. Once, I was mid-conversation with my younger sister and we both had to just stop, hold our hearts in our hands and let our eyes well up when we heard the words Stephin was singing to us. It's that kind of song. Sarah McLachlan's 'I Love You' kind of song. Here are the lyrics: (But you have to hear it to understand)

It's Only Time

Why would I stop loving you
a hundred years from now?
It's only time.
It's only time.

What could stop this beating heart
once it's made a vow?
It's only time.
It's only time.

If rain won't change your mind,
let it fall.
The rain won't change my heart
at all.

Lock this chain
around my hand,
throw away the key.
It's only time.
It's only time.

Years falling
like grains of sand
mean nothing to me.
It's only time.
It's only time.

If snow won't change your mind
let it fall.
The snow won't change my heart,
not at all.

(I'll walk your lands)
I'll walk your lands
(And swim your sea)
And swim your sea

Marry me.
Marry me.

(Then in your hands)
Then in your hands
(I will be free)
I will be free

Marry me.
Marry me.

Why would I stop loving you
a hundred years from now?

Is it just me, or does this 'game' get more real every time I play?

I had my doubts

But then i figured that 8 album titles just couldn't be wrong.
They were right. This feels great.

Do I know you?

Why do people insist on pretending like they don't remember? If you remember, just remember. It's so much easier. It's normal to remember. Really. It's great to remember. And because of recent conversations I've had with other normal people, I refuse to continue assuming I am just a crazy steel trap minded person for always remembering. Remembering is so much better than meeting seven times, each time giving a recap of the previous introductory experiences. Not remembering, or pretending to not remember is just so not as good as remembering.

Why do the soles of my new shoes insist on smelling like garlic? And don't say karma.

[picture of oh-so-cute, semi-pointed, sailor-striped flats (of course)]

Turns out

- Luke does want to marry Lorelai
- I'm not good at handling things
- I still can't eat a whole snack pack by myself
- I'm okay with being in a really 'normal' ward
- I am a compulsive online shopper
- Boys half-heartedly raising a sustaining hand in church is enough to turn me off
- I'm the same amount woman today as I was yesterday
- Compliments from most likely drunk, most likely homeless men on the street are some of my most cherished
- I can overdose on penne rosa from Noodles & Co.
- People never look at the second story of the Flower Basket, regardless of what or who is in the windowsill
- Clint swimming in a construction site puddle kills me
- It is really truly Fall (made irrefutably evident by the lack of hot dog street vendors in downtown slc)
- I miss having long boring hair
- I can happily eat pizza for 5 consecutive meals (exluding breakfasts)
- I need to sleep more often
- I like sitting in balconies