I've been wondering lately about a lot of things. Nothing whole-heartedly really because that's been beyond my capacity. But part-heartedly I've been doing a lot of wondering. One thing i've been wondering about is the things people care about. Is there some type of unwritten rating system concerning caring? Some ladder of cares that I should know that states clearly literature's place in relation to fashion in relation to animal rights in relation to dish towels. i mean, who decided that having an interest and investing time in learning a language holds more weight than being a great party hostess? Or does anyone think that? Or only I think that? I suppose there are some obvious topics of care that would transcend most others (family, religion) But beyond that, I'm not sure. Is it how useful it will be to your life? How much you'll use it when you die? Is it all in the eye of the beholder? Is it obvious?
I'm glad people care about things I do not. It has to be so. I like it so. Why, then, do I feel like I should be sheepish or ashamed to announce that my major is, in fact, not comparative literature or history or exercise science but home and family living? I like my major. Or that I have no idea who painted the first painting that was hung in the Guggenheim or whose song is #1 on the top 40 right now or who first invented the elevator? I don't know hardly anything. I don't know how anyone could ever attain enough knowledge to start feeling like they did. But I still care. I would love to know. Please, tell me. I think i care about everything. But how do you show you care? By spending time on it? Then I guess I care about very little. There is certainly something to be said about time. How time is spent is, i suppose, is our most accurate meter of what someone cares about? I mean, I care about homeless people but when one finds out where I work and awaits my 5pm exit, I get nervous. I don't volunteer at any shelters. I don't bring an extra PB&J to give to Drew or Sweet Brother on the street. But I care. Can caring exist only in thought and feeling but without action? I think so. Ah. so does Webster. "To feel concern" is to care. So i guess I do care about everything.
Sometimes I witness things through the news or conversations or with my own eyes. Horrible things, stories of terrible things, about people witnessing the death of their loved ones or a family dog lying only almost-dead in the street or whole African tribes being wiped out by disease and I am sad and I care and I wish they all knew that I cared. But then I do nothing. What would I do? Perhaps just taking extra careful care of my own cares? Maybe if everyone just appreciates and sustains others in all that they care for then all the cares in the world will be covered and it's not so horrible if some of my cares are left actionless?