at 2:53am

around 10pm there is usually nothing on my mind at all. but by 2:53am, it's full again. but the kind of full that makes it impossible to impart anything effectively. i'm more emotional at 2:53am than i am at 10pm. i listen to more sufjan at 2:53am. i make more decisions and goals at 2:53am. i miss my family more at 2:53am. i make so many lists at 2:53am. i feel really smart at 2:53am. my stomach feels weird at 2:53am. i remember things like that i have flannel sheets in my closet, and i get them out and put them on my bed, and i remember how i love the feel of them and the sparks that they can make. i'm the perfect amount of warm/cold, dreaming/awake, serious/not at 2:53am.